Online grooming

What is online grooming?

Online grooming is where someone makes contact with a child with the motive of preparing them for sexual abuse either online or offline. It’s one of those things you don’t want to think about as a parent and it’s unlikely that your child will be approached in this way, but it does happen so it’s something you need to be aware of.

Watch this Netsmartz video about how online predators manipulate and groom children:

What do I need to know about online grooming?

Online grooming is an offence under the Sexual Offences Act 2003 in the UK and many organisations, including the leading internet and mobile providers, government, children’s charities and law enforcement agencies, are working together to minimise the likelihood of grooming and to take action against the perpetrators.

Children and young people are often very trusting so, as a parent, you need to know what online grooming entails and how to take action if you’re worried that your child – or another child – could be in danger.

According to the Home Office Good Practice Guidelines for Social Networking:

  • Abusers use a range of techniques to make contact and establish relationships with young people, such as:
    • Gathering personal details online (eg age, name, address, mobile number and school), from social networking sites, multi-player games and other Web forums
    • Offering opportunities for modelling, especially to young girls
    • Promising meetings with celebrities and offering gifts, such as computer games or tickets to pop concerts
    • Gaining the child’s confidence by offering positive attention or providing a sympathetic response when they discuss problems they’re having
    • Masquerading as a child themselves or assuming another false identity in order to gain their trust
    • Bullying, threatening or blackmailing them
  • Children can be exploited online without an actual meeting or physical contact taking place – for example, the abuser could ask them to send naked photos or perform sexual acts via a webcam and pass the images on to other people
  • Once the abuser has gained the child’s trust online, they might suggest meeting up in real life
  • Whatever form the grooming takes, many young victims feel responsible for, and guilty about, it happening and find it difficult asking for help. In some cases, they might not even realise that what’s going on is abuse and they might believe that they are in a relationship with the abuser whom they have come to trust and feel close to

What can I do?

  • Discuss the potential risk of online grooming with your son or daughter. Don’t wait for something to happen – talk to them now and on a regular basis
  • Visit the Thinkuknow website together, which has lots of information split by age group
  • Remind your child that the internet is a public place and that not everyone online is who they say they are
  • Set up Parental Controls and Safe Search based on their age and maturity – but remember that they might not be 100% effective and aren’t a substitute for parental supervision
  • Explain to them that they should never give out their personal details (eg name, address and school) or share personal information (including photos and videos) with strangers on the internet or via their mobile
  • Encourage your child to set their online profiles (eg on social networking websites) to “private” so that only friends and family can see them
  • Don’t forget that your child could be vulnerable to online grooming in a number of places – multi-player gaming websites, chat rooms and social networking websites are all public spaces, for example
  • Encourage your son or daughter to talk to you about anything that makes them feel uncomfortable online or on their mobile, such as a stranger making contact, and to save emails, texts and other evidence
  • Look for any unusual signs, such as your child hiding their emails or texts or unknown adults contacting them or sending gifts, or a dramatic change in their behaviour
  • Report any incident of online grooming to the relevant law enforcement agency in your country – in the UK, report it to the Child Exploitation and Online Protection (CEOP) Centre
  • If you think your child – or another child – could be in immediate danger, report it to the local police too
  • If anyone in your family comes across child abuse images on the internet, report it to the internet hotline in your country – in the UK, report it to the Internet Watch Foundation. You can learn more about illegal content here
  • If your child would like to speak to someone in confidence, you could recommend they contact Childline on 0800 1111 or at www.childline.org.uk in the UK

Where can I go for more information and support?

FAQs related to this article

Find out more about Parental Controls

Help us improve the site

Rate this article

How old are your kids?

What you need to know to get started

  • 5-7 years old

    Technology is part of your child's life before they start primary school. They're probably using the computer, the internet and interactive TV for fun - watching programmes on the CBeebies channel and website or taking part in the Club Penguin chat rooms...but they still need adult guidance and supervision.

    Read more

  • 8-11 years old

    If you have 8-11 year old children, your house is probably full of technology - PlayStation, Nintendo, iPod...the list goes on. In fact, research shows that 8-11 year olds in the UK have an average of four media devices in their bedroom.

    This is a crucial age for young people to embrace new technologies and develop their ICT skills both at home and at school...and it's a crucial time for you to take control when they start exploring the digital world as well as the real world.

    Read more

  • 12-14 years old

    They're at secondary school and growing up fast. It's a time of change and their digital world might seem as important as the real world to them. They might spend their evenings on Bebo, Facebook or MySpace ; watching videos on YouTube and uploading their own for others to watch; or doing research for their homework.

    You want to encourage their technology and social skills, of course, so it's useful to understand what they're doing with technology and to get involved with it.

    Read more

  • 15+ years old

    Once your children are teenagers, it might be tempting to think that they're tech-savvy and dealing with everything the virtual world can throw at them. You probably watch in awe as they switch from chatting with friends on Facebook to updating their Twitter profile; playing against someone on the other side of the world on their games console to downloading music on their mobile.

    It's all great fun but, as they get older, the things you need to help them to cope with in their digital world are ever more challenging. Far from leaving them to it, you really need to keep communicating with them.

    Read more

How much do you know?

Twitter has73 million users worldwide

Take our test to give you an idea about how well you understand new technologies. It’s quick and easy and will help you decide which parts of the website to visit.

Take the test