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Excessive use of technology

What do I need to know about the excessive use of technology?

Developing likes, dislikes, hobbies and interests is an important part of growing up. You might have noticed that your son or daughter has become passionate about a particular sport, fervently follows one band or will only eat certain foods, for example. Similarly, they might love going on the internet, playing on their games console or listening to their MP3 player

For teenagers in particular, going online has become a vital social currency – logging on to Facebook or another social networking website when they get back from school is the equivalent of you rushing home to phone your friends when you were their age – and playing on the PSP or Wii has now become part of the evening and weekend routine for many children.

Faced with an ever-growing range of devices, products, services and features, young people generally use technology in a positive and balanced way. But some parents will recognise that children and teenagers can spend many hours on the internet, their mobile and games consoles and you might be concerned that your kids are using technology excessively.

Just as you help your son or daughter to manage and moderate their behaviour and activities in the real world, you need to guide them on their journey through the digital world.

Did you know?

An npower study of 7-16 year olds in August 2009 revealed that they spend up to nine hours a day in front of a screen (eg TV, computer, phone or video game), which equates to a third of the year

In rare cases, children and teenagers can become obsessed with technology, particularly computer games.

In 2008, a leading US psychiatrist Dr Jerald Block, suggested that obsessive internet use, including excessive gaming, sexual preoccupations and emailing/texting, should be recognised as a clinical disorder.

Dr Block suggested that there are four common characteristics of obsessive internet use:

  • Excessive use – losing track of time or neglecting to eat or sleep
  • Withdrawal – eg feelings of anger, tension or depression
  • Tolerance – wanting a better computer or more hours online
  • Negative repercussions – eg arguments, lies, isolation and tiredness

Even if your child isn’t showing any of these characteristics, you might be worried that they’re spending too much time online and not focusing on other hobbies or school work. Or you might have concerns that their friendships are based only around social networking sites rather than the school playground.

It can be difficult to know when normal enthusiasm for digital devices has moved on to something more worrying. It’s therefore important to talk to your son or daughter about their digital world on a regular basis and to take some simple steps to help them balance their technology time with real-world activities.

To help avoid excessive use of technology:

  • In the same way that you have family rules in the real world, set clear boundaries for your child when it comes to their use of the internet, mobiles and other devices – eg how long they’re allowed on the computer, what kind of websites they can visit, which games they’re allowed to play, how many calls/texts they can make on their mobile and how much they can spend on extras (eg on websites like Stardoll or premium rate ringtone downloads)
  • Set up Parental Controls and Safe Search based on their age and maturity to help protect them from accessing inappropriate or harmful content – but remember that they might not be 100% effective and aren’t a substitute for parental supervision
  • For younger children in particular, sign up for a monthly mobile contract so that you receive an itemised bill and can see who they’ve called and texted. Tell your child that you’ll be able to see this on the bill so that they don’t feel like you’re spying on them
  • Read our articles about downloading & copyright, gambling, games, mobile costs and search

If you’re concerned your child is becoming addicted to digital devices:

  • If you’re worried they’re online or playing games in their bedroom in the middle of the night, move the computer/console/TV into a family room. You might even want to put some rules in place about when and where they use their mobile as some children are known to text late at night from their beds
  • Don’t leave it until you’re concerned before you talk to them – keep the lines of communication open so that they know that you’re there for them

Where can I go for more information and support?

  • You’ll find useful advice on the website of the Center for Internet Addiction Recovery (US)
  • If your son or daughter would like to speak to someone in confidence, they can contact Childline in the UK
  • Common Sense Media advises how you can help your family avoid media overload
  • In the UK, GamCare provides support for anyone suffering through a gambling problem
  • Get advice and talk to other parents on Mumsnet
  • Parentline’s 24/7 helpline offers guidance on a wide range of parenting issues

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How old are your kids?

What you need to know to get started

  • 5-7 years old

    Technology is part of your child's life before they start primary school. They're probably using the computer, the internet and interactive TV for fun - watching programmes on the CBeebies channel and website or taking part in the Club Penguin chat rooms...but they still need adult guidance and supervision.

  • 8-11 years old

    If you have 8-11 year old children, your house is probably full of technology - PlayStation, Nintendo, iPod...the list goes on. In fact, research shows that 8-11 year olds in the UK have an average of four media devices in their bedroom.

    This is a crucial age for young people to embrace new technologies and develop their ICT skills both at home and at school...and it's a crucial time for you to take control when they start exploring the digital world as well as the real world.

  • 12-14 years old

    They're at secondary school and growing up fast. It's a time of change and their digital world might seem as important as the real world to them. They might spend their evenings on Bebo, Facebook or MySpace ; watching videos on YouTube and uploading their own for others to watch; or doing research for their homework.

    You want to encourage their technology and social skills, of course, so it's useful to understand what they're doing with technology and to get involved with it.

  • 15+ years old

    Once your children are teenagers, it might be tempting to think that they're tech-savvy and dealing with everything the virtual world can throw at them. You probably watch in awe as they switch from chatting with friends on Facebook to updating their Twitter profile; playing against someone on the other side of the world on their games console to downloading music on their mobile.

    It's all great fun but, as they get older, the things you need to help them to cope with in their digital world are ever more challenging. Far from leaving them to it, you really need to keep communicating with them.

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