Cyberbullying

What is cyberbullying?

New technologies have many positive benefits for your children, from developing crucial IT skills to providing a source of entertainment and fun.

Unfortunately, the internet, mobiles and other devices have also created a new channel for bullying. Known as cyberbullying, this can be extremely upsetting for children and teenagers – especially as the scale, speed and 24/7 nature of the digital world means it can take place anywhere and at any time. Cyberbullying could therefore be a major concern when you’re considering your child’s online safety.

In fact, according to the bullying prevention charity Beatbullying, one in three young people in the UK have been cyberbullied, so you need to understand what this form of bullying entails and how you can help your child to avoid becoming a victim or a perpetrator.

Bullies are using new technologies to make threats, intimidate, harass, defame and exclude young people and, in some cases, to impersonate them or steal their identity. Some of the most common cyberbullying methods are:

  • Text bullying – your child might receive nasty or threatening text messages
  • Nuisance/prank calls – someone might call your child persistently on their mobile and say nasty things to them
  • Publishing and sharing images without your child’s permission – photos, videos or webcam footage of your child could be circulated via email or text, posted online, or tagged with their name on a public website
  • “Happy slapping” – cyberbullies might use their mobiles to take photos or videos of your child while they verbally or physically abuse them
  • Email and Instant Message (IM) bullying – your child might receive nasty or threatening emails or IMs from someone they know or a stranger
  • Chat room bullying – a fellow chat room user might say rude things to, or about, your child
  • Cyberbullying via a social network – someone might post nasty messages about your child on a site such as Bebo, Facebook or MySpace, or set up a fake profile about them
  • Bullying during interactive gaming – if your child plays multi-player games, a fellow gamer might try to block or ignore them. Research shows that this kind of online ostracism can have an impact on self-esteem

Watch this Teachtoday video about cyberbullying:

Watch the video on Teachtoday

What do I need to know about cyberbullying?

Just like bullying in the real world, cyberbullying can have a very negative impact on your child – undermining their confidence and sense of security, affecting their attendance and performance at school and fuelling prejudice, among other things.

It’s therefore crucial that you understand the different types of cyberbullying (outlined above) and know what action you can take if your child is being cyberbullied (see below). That way, you can help your child to stay safe and protect their reputation online.

You also need to ensure that your child doesn’t become a cyberbully.

Young people who have never bullied anyone in real life might be drawn into cyberbullying because they think they’re anonymous when they use the internet or their mobile. They might do things that they wouldn’t dream of doing face-to-face and use new technologies to deliberately upset a friend, a stranger, even a teacher. Or they might succumb to peer pressure and forward a bullying email or text on or take part in a bullying conversation on a social networking site without thinking about the consequences.

What can I do about cyberbullying?

  • Talk to your child about cyberbullying, just as you would about other kinds of bullying, and encourage them to come to you if anyone ever upsets them when they’re on the internet, their mobile or other devices. Ask them things like:
    • Have they ever received an email or text that upset them?
    • Has anyone posted a photo or video of them online without their permission?
    • Have they been involved in bullying someone else online or via their mobile?
  • If your child tells you they’re being cyberbullied, offer them practical as well as emotional support:
    • Reassure them that they have done the right thing by telling you what’s going on
    • Explain that they should not respond to any of the bullying as it might make things worse
    • Sit down with your child and make a written record of the cyberbullying and gather evidence, such as saving texts or printing out emails and screen shots of websites – don’t delete anything
    • Make the most of built-in tools on your child’s internet or mobile services to prevent further cyberbullying – for example, you can remove the bully from ‘friends’ lists and set your child’s social network profile to private, if it isn’t already
    • Contact your child’s internet, mobile or social networking provider – if what’s happened contravenes their Terms of Use or Community Guidelines, they could suspend the bully’s account, remove content or set up a new mobile number, for example
    • If your child thinks the cyberbully is a fellow student, talk to their teacher – it’s compulsory for UK schools to have an anti-bullying policy in place so they will know what action to take. You can find the Department for Education’s cyberbullying guidance for schools here
    • If you think a crime has been committed or if you’re worried your child is in immediate danger, contact the local police – even though cyberbullying is not a specific criminal offence in the UK, other laws might apply
  • If you think your child could be using new technologies to bully someone else:
    • Talk to them about cyberbullying and explain why it’s unacceptable and has to stop
    • Have an open discussion with your child – ask them why they’re doing it and listen to what they say
    • If they didn’t realise that what they were doing was bullying, explain that bullying is not just physical – using technology to tease, embarrass and spread rumours are also bullying behaviours
    • Talk to their teacher about what’s been going on and let them know that you’re willing to work with the school to ensure it doesn’t happen again – you can find the Department for Education’s cyberbullying guidance for schools here
    • Reassure your child that you still love them but make it clear that their behaviour must change
    • Encourage them to tell you or a teacher about any bullying that they witness, including cyberbullying incidents

Where can I go for more information and support about cyberbullying?

Cyberbullying is a complex area, so you might find the following websites useful for further information about cyberbullying and e-safety:

If your child is being cyberbullied, they might want to talk to someone in confidence – you could recommend the following support organisations in the UK:

You can also:

  • Get advice and talk to other parents on Mumsnet
  • Call Parentline’s 24/7 helpline for guidance on a wide range of parenting issues

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How old are your kids?

What you need to know to get started

  • 5-7 years old

    Technology is part of your child's life before they start primary school. They're probably using the computer, the internet and interactive TV for fun - watching programmes on the CBeebies channel and website or taking part in the Club Penguin chat rooms...but they still need adult guidance and supervision.

    Read more

  • 8-11 years old

    If you have 8-11 year old children, your house is probably full of technology - PlayStation, Nintendo, iPod...the list goes on. In fact, research shows that 8-11 year olds in the UK have an average of four media devices in their bedroom.

    This is a crucial age for young people to embrace new technologies and develop their ICT skills both at home and at school...and it's a crucial time for you to take control when they start exploring the digital world as well as the real world.

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  • 12-14 years old

    They're at secondary school and growing up fast. It's a time of change and their digital world might seem as important as the real world to them. They might spend their evenings on Bebo, Facebook or MySpace ; watching videos on YouTube and uploading their own for others to watch; or doing research for their homework.

    You want to encourage their technology and social skills, of course, so it's useful to understand what they're doing with technology and to get involved with it.

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  • 15+ years old

    Once your children are teenagers, it might be tempting to think that they're tech-savvy and dealing with everything the virtual world can throw at them. You probably watch in awe as they switch from chatting with friends on Facebook to updating their Twitter profile; playing against someone on the other side of the world on their games console to downloading music on their mobile.

    It's all great fun but, as they get older, the things you need to help them to cope with in their digital world are ever more challenging. Far from leaving them to it, you really need to keep communicating with them.

    Read more

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