Chat Rooms & IM

What is chat?

Online chat is a way of communicating by sending text-based messages to people in the same chat room at the same time (Source: Wikipedia). Chat rooms are often based around common interests and hobbies.

What is IM?

IM (short for “instant messaging”) is another text-based messaging service over the internet. Many young people enjoy IMing as it’s quick and can be done in real time. It’s a bit like having a conversation over the phone or face-to-face as you know that the person you’re IMing is there and you get an immediate response.

AOL Instant Messenger (often called AIM) and Windows Live Messenger (which used to be called MSN Messenger) are two of the most popular IM services.

However, research shows that instant messaging is one of the victims of social networking growth – in 2007, 14 per cent of time online in the UK was spent on IM compared to just five per cent in 2010.

What do I need to know about chat and IM?

It’s important that you understand how your son or daughter might use chat rooms and IM and to have a conversation about internet safety with them.

Historically, chat rooms were popular with young people as a way of making new friends, sharing hobbies and interests, and discussing issues close to their heart. In recent years, however, social networking websites, such as Facebook, have taken over as the main platform for teenagers to chat online.

Instant messaging has also been affected by the growth in social networking but remains popular as it enables children and teenagers to have real-time conversations with friends and family from their computer and other Web-enabled devices, like mobiles. You might have heard your son or daughter talking about ‘going on MSN’, for example, or using services that let them synchronise their instant messaging, social networking and mobile address books in one place.

Recognising that young people might be vulnerable in general chat rooms, many of the leading internet and mobile providers only allow under-18s to access moderated chat rooms. These chat rooms have rules in place to help protect younger users and are monitored at all times by professional moderators who keep an eye out for disruptive and inappropriate behaviour.

In terms of IM safety tools, some Parental Controls will limit the access your child has to IM services and enable them to block certain people from their “buddy list” (IM address book).

It’s useful to understand the potential internet safety risks your kids might face when chatting online and IMing, such as:

  • Cyberbullying – a fellow chat room or IM user might send offensive or threatening messages to your son or daughter or your child might become a bully themselves
  • Exchanging inappropriate photos & webcam footage – they might be asked to send provocative images of themselves to another chat room or IM user
  • Identity theft – someone might try to find out personal information so that they can steal your child’s identity
  • Online grooming – without realising it, your son or daughter might be chatting to an adult who wants to establish a sexual relationship with them
  • Receiving misleading advice about health concerns – there are chat rooms available online that promote eating disorders and self-harm, for example

Watch this video about meeting people online:

What can I do about chat and IM?

  • Don’t forget to talk to your child about chat rooms and IM as part of a general internet safety conversation
  • Set up Parental Controls and Safe Search based on your child’s age and maturity so that they can only access age-appropriate content online – but remember, they might not be 100% effective and they aren’t a substitute for parental supervision
  • Find out whether your internet or mobile provider offers moderated chat rooms
  • Sit down together and look at the chat rooms your child visits or would like to visit
  • Encourage them to use a nickname rather than their real name in chat rooms and on IM
  • Talk to your son or daughter about the potential risks of cyberbullying – both in terms of how they could be bullied or how something they say in a chat room or on IM could be perceived as harassment
  • Teach them how to save a copy of a chat or IM conversation, block/ignore someone and report something inappropriate to the chat room provider – you should be able to find out how to do this in the ‘Help’ or ‘Safety’ sections of the chat room
  • Explain to your child that they should be careful who they trust online and they shouldn’t give out personal information (like their mobile number, address or name of their school) to strangers or have private online chats (where other people can’t see what’s being said) with anyone they haven’t met in real life
  • Encourage them to come to you if they feel uncomfortable about something that has happened in a chat room or on IM. If you or your child have concerns about a conversation in a chat room or on IM, report it to the company that runs it – go to their ‘Help’ or ‘Safety’ areas to find out how
  • If your child wants to meet up with someone they’ve met in a chat room or on IM in real life, go with them and meet in a public place
  • If you’re worried that your son or daughter, or another child, has been approached inappropriately by an adult in a chat room, report the incident to the relevant law enforcement agency in your country – in the UK, it’s the Child Exploitation and Online Protection (CEOP) Centre
  • If you think a child could be in immediate danger, contact the police
  • Read our articles about cyberbullying, exploring sexual identity, health & wellbeing, identity theft, inappropriate content, managing reputation, online grooming and privacy

Where can I go for more information and support about chat and IM?

  • AOL offers online safety & security FAQs for AIM
  • If you’re worried that a child might be being groomed in a chat room or on IM, report it to the relevant law enforcement ageny in your country – it’s CEOP in the UK – and, if you think they could be in immediate danger, contact the police
  • Chatdanger offers useful chat room safety advice
  • Check out the chat page on the Kidsmart website
  • Read Microsoft’s tips for safe instant messaging
  • Parents Centre provides a useful dictionary of chat & IM terms, a Chationary
  • Visit the Thinkuknow website for guidance on how to protect your child online

FAQs related to this article

Find out more about Parental Controls

How old are your kids?

What you need to know to get started

  • 5-7 years old

    Technology is part of your child's life before they start primary school. They're probably using the computer, the internet and interactive TV for fun - watching programmes on the CBeebies channel and website or taking part in the Club Penguin chat rooms...but they still need adult guidance and supervision.

    Read more

  • 8-11 years old

    If you have 8-11 year old children, your house is probably full of technology - PlayStation, Nintendo, iPod...the list goes on. In fact, research shows that 8-11 year olds in the UK have an average of four media devices in their bedroom.

    This is a crucial age for young people to embrace new technologies and develop their ICT skills both at home and at school...and it's a crucial time for you to take control when they start exploring the digital world as well as the real world.

    Read more

  • 12-14 years old

    They're at secondary school and growing up fast. It's a time of change and their digital world might seem as important as the real world to them. They might spend their evenings on Bebo, Facebook or MySpace ; watching videos on YouTube and uploading their own for others to watch; or doing research for their homework.

    You want to encourage their technology and social skills, of course, so it's useful to understand what they're doing with technology and to get involved with it.

    Read more

  • 15+ years old

    Once your children are teenagers, it might be tempting to think that they're tech-savvy and dealing with everything the virtual world can throw at them. You probably watch in awe as they switch from chatting with friends on Facebook to updating their Twitter profile; playing against someone on the other side of the world on their games console to downloading music on their mobile.

    It's all great fun but, as they get older, the things you need to help them to cope with in their digital world are ever more challenging. Far from leaving them to it, you really need to keep communicating with them.

    Read more

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