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Aged 12 - 14
They’re at secondary school and growing up fast. It’s a time of change and their digital world might seem as important as the real world to them. They might spend their evenings on Bebo, Facebook or MySpace, watching videos on YouTube and uploading their own for others to watch; or doing research for their homework.
You want to encourage their technology and social skills and help them become more resilient when dealing with online risks, of course, so it’s useful to understand what they’re doing with technology and to get involved with it.
It’s at this age that your child – who has grown up with the internet, mobiles and other devices – might take on the role of ‘technology expert’ in your home. They’re also keen to have their independence and relationships with friends are becoming more important. But that doesn’t mean you should sit back and lose touch with what they’re doing.
“Adolescence is often an unstable and emotional time…there is a significant drive for social interaction…There is some evidence that social networking sites offer teenagers a place to test various adolescent behaviours or to take ‘safe’ risks (Livingstone, 2008)…Young people may evade and rebel if parents are heavy-handed at this stage. The aim is to protect them from some content or experiences, empower them by discussing risk and mediate interpretation of challenging content” - (Source: The Byron Review, March 2008)
As stated on Web Aware, although your child might feel in control of technology, they’re still vulnerable – they might be caught out by marketing scams, be the victim of cyberbullying, or choose to explore their sexual identity online, for example.
As the parent of a pre-teen or young teenager, most of the information on this website is relevant. You’ll find advice about everything from blogs to video, cyberbullying to identity theft, so that you can get more involved and help your family stay in control of their digital world. Here’s a quick checklist to kick things off.
Checklist
- Double check that you’ve set up Parental Controls to the right level for your child’s age and maturity on any computer they use at home and set passwords on your own computer so that they can’t access anything on it – but remember, Parental Controls might not be 100% accurate and they aren’t a substitute for talking to your kids about the internet
- Ask them where they go online and who they meet – you wouldn’t let them go out in the real world without knowing where they are and whom they’re with, so why let them do it in the digital world?
- Teach them how to behave responsibly online and respect others in the online community – eg how to download music legally and not to spread rumours about or bully other people – as something that starts as fun can easily spiral out of control
- Talk to them about their digital footprint – explain that any comments or images they post on the internet now could be there forever and could be accessed by anyone, including university admissions tutors and future employers
- Explain why it’s important that they don’t give out their personal information online
- Talk to them about how they could easily run up large mobile bills if they use premium rate services
- Direct your child to bona fide websites for support on health and wellbeing issues, such as body image, and warn them that other websites might contain harmful content, promoting eating disorders or suicide, for example.
- Find out how they’re using technology when they’re not at home with you. What rules do their friends’ parents set? What devices are they using at school?
- Regularly encourage them to come to you if anything makes them feel uncomfortable or threatened online, on their mobile or on other devices, and don’t say you’ll take their internet, mobile or other device away from them as this might deter them from talking to you
How old are your kids?
What you need to know to get started
- 5-7 years old
Technology is part of your child's life before they start primary school. They're probably using the computer, the internet and interactive TV for fun - watching programmes on the CBeebies channel and website or taking part in the Club Penguin chat rooms...but they still need adult guidance and supervision.
- 8-11 years old
If you have 8-11 year old children, your house is probably full of technology - PlayStation, Nintendo, iPod...the list goes on. In fact, research shows that 8-11 year olds in the UK have an average of four media devices in their bedroom.
This is a crucial age for young people to embrace new technologies and develop their ICT skills both at home and at school...and it's a crucial time for you to take control when they start exploring the digital world as well as the real world.
- 12-14 years old
They're at secondary school and growing up fast. It's a time of change and their digital world might seem as important as the real world to them. They might spend their evenings on Bebo, Facebook or MySpace ; watching videos on YouTube and uploading their own for others to watch; or doing research for their homework.
You want to encourage their technology and social skills, of course, so it's useful to understand what they're doing with technology and to get involved with it.
- 15+ years old
Once your children are teenagers, it might be tempting to think that they're tech-savvy and dealing with everything the virtual world can throw at them. You probably watch in awe as they switch from chatting with friends on Facebook to updating their Twitter profile; playing against someone on the other side of the world on their games console to downloading music on their mobile.
It's all great fun but, as they get older, the things you need to help them to cope with in their digital world are ever more challenging. Far from leaving them to it, you really need to keep communicating with them.
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